Dear Diary,
My heart has faced the burden of the anxiety of standing before Jesus and looking into his eyes with shame weighing down on me and casting away the joy and gladness that ought to accompany the privilege of standing in his presence.
It is not the weight of sin that drains me and makes feel so, but it is the fact that I know I could have done a whole lot more for the cause of Christ.
A great many visions and a great many events that have now occurred and are yet to come have made me see clearer than ever before that I have missed setting right many events in the world that God has prepared me for.
This has grieved my soul for many days. Even, many weeks.
Only recently have I been still enough to hear the voice & heart of God concerning me; regarding this matter.
God has shown me that it is Satan that wants me to feel this way. This is a distraction. Satan wants me distracted and my mourning opportunities for ministry lost keeps me distracted from attending to present opportunities for ministry God has lay in front of me.
My mourning not being in God's will yesterday has distracted me from stepping into God's will today.
I step out of Satan's trick. I step out of self pity. I step into destiny. I step into God's will.
I let go and let God. I commit myself to God's use.
Souls, Souls, Souls. I pour myself out for the Master's use to win souls to Christ.
It's all about the Great Commission. Nothing else matters.